He's NOT My Master!
by Dark Coffee Beans
Summary: Sakura has family problems. Sasuke has family problems. Sakura ends up being Sasuke’s maid and his temporary pretend girlfriend without knowing that her family knows his family. My oh my, what a mess we’re in for. SasuSaku -Rated for language-


_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, no da. And this applies to all the other chapters._

A/N: There's a lot of maid stories out there…. so I suddenly want to write a fanfic like this. 83

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**Chapter 1: Sakura the Maid**

Nineteen-years-old Sakura walked down the busy street of Tokyo. Everyday was fucking the same. She get up, she go to work, she get off work, she cook dinner, she go to sleep. Every single fucked up day.

Her life's greatest regret was never able to attend to the prestigious university that she was accepted into. Why? Because her family was dirt poor, that was why. In the end, Sakura had to give up her studies after high school. It was a shame because she was always number one in her class.

Sighing, Sakura pulled her hair into a messy bun before getting into her work uniform. The stupid boss was too cheap to clean them over the weekends. Sakura could tell by the oil stain that still stained the edge of the sleeve. Grabbing a couple of newly printed menus, Sakura left the change room.

The morning was fairly pleasant, mostly because it never got busy until lunch time. But as soon as that 12 O'clock bell went…

"Sir, remove your hand from my rear please." Sakura could feel her veins throbbing on her overly large forehead.

"Aww… don't be like that," the man purred, a perverted blush ran across his face.

"I think you're drunk, sir."

The man tightened his hold on her ass, "I said don't be like that. Want to ditch work and have some fun time together? I'll even pay you."

Sakura's green eyes narrowed, "I'm sorry, but do I look like a hooker to you?" Without giving him the chance to reply Sakura tried to edge away but failed when the man grabbed onto her thin wrist. 

"Hey, I'm trying to be nice here bitch. What happened to customer service? I can easily make you lose your job, whore."

In the next second, Sakura's first collided with the man's cheekbone. And within the next minute she was fired on the spot.

_'It's not like I wanted to keep that job…' _But even when she thought that Sakura knew that she was in trouble. Her rent will be due soon and now she won't even get a full paycheck. Life was such a bitch.

---

"So you lost your job… again," Sakura's cousin said grimly.

"Yah…"

"My god… Sakura…" Ume said, scratching her head, "When will you learn to keep your mouth shut and your temper in check?"

Even though Ume and Sakura's father were ordinary brothers the two girls looked almost identical. It was very easy to mistake them for twins especially when Ume was only two days older than Sakura. In fact, the two girls always celebrate their birthdays together on March the 27th, the day after Ume's birthday and the day before Sakura's. 

The only difference in their appearance was that Ume's hair colour was more of the magenta pink shade where as Sakura's hair colour was more of the bubblegum pink shade. Also, Ume's hair reached to her waist while Sakura's only reached to her collar bone. Beside those qualities the two girl's personality were near identical to the point of creepiness.

Ume's name meant plum blossom while Sakura's name meant cherry blossom. The family seemed to have a thing with naming their daughters after flowers.

Sakura's green eyes narrowed, "That's a lot coming from you…"

Ume's equally green eyes narrowed as well, "Well, at least I know how to keep my job intact."

Sakura pouted childishly, "I can't help it. Blame it on the perverted men in this messed up world. You're lucky, you work for the all-so-high-class Haruno newspaper company. There's no need for you to deal with these shitty no-lives."

Ume's eyes darkened, "You'll be surprised…"

Sakura sighed before popping down onto her bed and staring back at her cousin who was the more "mature" one at the moment. They took turns playing that role so that they could look out for each other. "So, what are you here for anyways?"

"Well… grandfather's eighty years birthday party is coming up…"

Sakura popped up at once, "_Hell no_." 

"Sakura…"

Getting on her feet, Sakura started to pace around the room, "Oh no, no, no, no, no. There's absolutely NO WAY I'm going."

Ume sighed, "It's only once a year… and he… _they_ want you to come."

Sakura sneered in a very unlady-like fashion, "So they can harassed me about my poor financial state while flapping their hundred dollar bills in my face? No thanks."

Ume's look softened, "Grandpa is getting old… the doctors do not think that he could last long."

Sakura turned around with her back facing her cousin. "Good, hope the old fart dies. After all, he's the one that forced dad to disown me after I ran away with mom."

Ume was getting desperate now. "But can't you see? It was all for the image! Grandpa only did it to preserve the prestigious Haruno _name_. He and your father still love you very much!"

Sakura turned around, "So what am I? Some dirty, embarrassing _thing_ that needed to be disposed of so it doesn't stain the squeaky-clean image of the Haruno name? _Please_ spare me."

"You're being childish," Ume accused.

"No I'm not!" Sakura yelled, "do you have any idea how hard it was for me and mom? As I recall, mom tried so hard to fund for my education to the point of begging to this "clean" family but it wouldn't help her nor me. Then let's see… oh yes. She got sick because she worked herself to exhaustion and I had to give up any hope of further education to support us."

"Then when your mother was hospitalized, we paid and is still paying for the hospital bills," Ume said sternly.

Sakura's eyes narrowed, "_We_? You're on _their_ side now?"

"No… I'm just trying to tell you that the family isn't as heartless as you're making them out to be."

Sakura laughed harshly, "The only reason they are paying the expansive hospital bill is because their perfect "image" will be ruined when the press gets the news that the former wife of the Haruno heir died because she couldn't pay for the medication fee and the family did nothing but watch her die in cold blood." 

Ume winced.

"But don't worry," said Sakura with a mocking smile, "I am grateful, but not for the family, but for society's pressure."

Ume sighed, "Sakura please, even if you hate everyone's guts in the Haruno family…"

"…except for you," Sakura added.

Ume smiled, "Yes, except for me… please come to the gathering… for me?"

"For you?" Sakura asked puzzled, "What for?"

Walking over, Ume gripped onto Sakura's hand. A serious look ran across her face, causing Sakura to wince. "If grandfather want to… he could easily stop me from seeing you and also…" her eyes were hidden in the shadow of her bangs. 

Sakura swallowed. Ume looked up with watery puppy dog eyes, "I DON'T WANT TO BE THE ONLY ONE THERE THAT DOES NOT HAVE A DATE!"

Sakura sweatdropped. The position to be the mature one officially switched.

"Fine…" Sakura groaned, "I'll think about it."

"Yah!" Ume cheered, heart bubbles were flying everywhere.

"Just make sure that Karin-bitch stay out of my way."

"Yes, yes," Ume smiled. "Oh! I almost forget. Here." 

"What's this?" Sakura asked while reaching for the sheet of paper that Ume dug out from her designer's purse.

Ume grinned proudly at herself, "It's an job wanting ad that will be in tomorrow morning's newspaper. Trust me, there'll be a LOT of fuss when this gets out. But because of family benefits, I'm letting you get the upper hand. Make sure to get there earlier than everyone else to apply for the job! I'm pretty sure that as long as you're hot and sexy, it's a first come first serve thing."

Sakura raised an sceptically eyebrow at her cousin before peering down at the sheet of paper.

_**WANTED:**_

_**Live in maid.**_

_**Age: 18-25**_

_**All living expenses will be covered.**_

_**Pay: 35 000 yen per day (Approx $350 U.S.)**_

_**Job requirement: Applicants must have a nice face and figure.**_

_**Contact information: **_

_**Uchiha Court, Unit A, Complex 01**_

_**(007)-734-1337**_

_**Sasuke Uchiha**_

Sakura could feel her eyebrows twitching madly. "This just _**got**_ to be some kind of sick joke that a no lifer was playing." Throwing the ad onto the floor, Sakura popped into her bed again.

"Sakura…"

"Yah Ume-chan?"

"Do you know who Uchiha Sasuke is?"

"No."

"No wonder," Ume smirked.

Sakura raised her head up from her pillow, "_What_?"

"Uchiha is a _**very**_ prestigious name…"

Sakura's eyes widened at once. As Ume went on explaining the greatest of the Uchiha and Sasuke himself the wheels in Sakura's head started to spin feverishly. Prestigious name equals to the receiver of society's pressure which equals to the presentation of a good front which equals to that _**this cannot be a joke! **_Yes, jackpot!

---

_**The Next Morning…**_

"Yo Sasuke, what's with that murderous look you're giving me?" Naruto asked, peering away from the 38 inch T.V. where he was currently playing a new video game he raided from Sasuke's collection. He wore an orange T-shirt with a spiral in the middle and black shorts.

Sasuke wore a white T-shirt and dark blue pants as he stood there, towering over the soon-to-be-dead-blonde. "Dobe…WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!" Sasuke pointed at the newspaper which featured a flashy ad that was recruiting maids.

"So?"

"WHY IS _**MY**_ ADDRESS AND HOME NUMBER ON HERE!"

"Quite your PMS-ing. So I put out a little ad, what's the big deal?" Naruto returned to his video game.

Sasuke breathed in deeply and tried not to strangle his best friend. "First, it's not a "little" ad, it freaking took up the whole page. Second, what makes you think that I want more maids? I already got more than I can count."

"But they're all old ladies in their thirties and forties!" Naruto jabbed back then groaned loudly when he got owned in the video game due to the small distraction.

"They're professionals who are good with their job! None of them tried to jump me in all these years and that's more than what I could say for any fan girls that'll be applying!"

"But younger girls are cuter!"

"Then get your own young maids for your own damn mansion!"

"But it's lonely there without Sasuke-teme to fight with!" Naruto whined, pouting. 

Sasuke twitched.

Naruto grinned his trademark fox smile, "So yah, in the selection, let's have something more… spicy?"

Sasuke's eyes were hidden behind his bangs, _**"Get out…"**_

The killing intent surrounding him was truly frightening. Suddenly Sasuke's cell phone rang, much to the relieve of the blonde. Taking a swift glance at the caller ID, Sasuke snarled before flipping the black phone open sneered into it, "What do you want bastard?"

"Hello to you too, foolish little brother."

"What do you want Itachi?" Sasuke gritted his teeth. Why do annoying things always happens at the same time?

"Nothing much," Itachi said at the other end, "I just want to remind you that the annual Uchiha gathering is coming up."

"So?"

"It would look bad if the future clan leader does not have a date."

Sasuke stared disbelievingly at the phone, "_What?_" 

Itachi's smooth voice continued, you could bet that he had a smug smile on his face. "You heard me. You should have an escort this time around. Technically you should have had one last year as well when you turned eighteen."

Sasuke wanted to punch the man's face. The bastard want to infuriate him at any given opportunity even if the issue was as trivial as this. "Why are you so interested? You got disowned!" 

"True," said Itachi, "Father was quite upset when I refused to take the role as clan head. Just think… all those money they spend on me went to waste. But I'm still coming to the gathering, you know how forceful mothers can be."

"Good for you. Go ahead and brag about how much mother loves you, see if I care!"

"Tsk tsk, is little Sasuke-kun getting jealous? Anyways, believe it or not…"

"Definitely not."

Itachi ignored him and continued, "…I'm actually trying to look out for you. You never had a proper girlfriend did you? Even now you're single and lonely. People are talking. There's some rumours floating around about you. Some people seem to believe that you swing the _other_ way, especially when you hang around with that Uzumaki boy awfully a lot…"

"You leave him out of this!"

"Touchy, touchy. Did I hit the mark?"

"Fuck you Itachi. Like I care what you or anyone else fucking thinks!"

"Not even Father?" 

"Father…?"

"When your son refuses to mingle with the opposite sex even though he's already in university… a father can't help by feel worried."

"I-I have a girlfriend!" Sasuke stuttered/yelled into the phone.

Itachi smirked at the other end. "Really? Well, I'm glad to hear it. Make sure you bring her to the gathering then! I want to hear all about how my little brother finally found his true love," Itachi chuckled.

"Screw you!" Sasuke screamed before snapping the phone shut with such force that it almost broke it.

---

Somewhere in an large office with a large window behind him, Itachi stretched out in his black leather chair. Nothing better than to start off the afternoon paperwork with a good dose of Sasuke baiting.

---

Sasuke glared at the phone in his hand with a look of vengeance in his eyes. What did he got himself into now? Now he _actually_ have to find a girlfriend to cover up his lie.

"You were lying… right?" Naruto asked behind him.

"Of course I was, you idiot."

"Ah, good, good," Naruto grinned, "Because if you _do_ have a girlfriend it'll make me feel sorry for myself."

"You have more reasons to feel sorry for yourself than just that…" Sasuke murmured to himself. 

Naruto ignored him for once, "But honestly Sasuke. What are you going to do now? I mean isn't the gathering tomorrow?"

"Yah…" Sasuke replied bitterly.

"So where are you going to find a girl on such a short notice…? Actually, that's not a problem for you. With your popularity you can just randomly give a girl a call and she'll agree. How about Ino? Or that Karin girl?"

"That's the problem… I don't want to go with a girl I have connections with. They'll just come back and haunt me after I don't need them anymore."

"Wow, that was harsh bastard, even for you."

"Hn."

"But yah, unless you want your chicken-butt shamed in front of your whole family, you really can't be that picky."

"…"

---

Sakura walked up to the large complex. She finally found her way after going through a series of mazes. Now she was facing a large gate with guards at both sides.

"Ano… excuse me?" Sakura said to a guard.

The guard peered at her get-up. Sakura wore a pink T-shirt with small cherry blossoms design sewed into the bottom corner. She had on a pair of faded blue jeans and white running shoes with pink laces. Her outfit made her look like a middle school student while she was actually nineteen.

The guard couldn't help but feel suspicious at this commoner in front of him, "What do you want?" He barked harshly.

Sakura bit her lips slightly before replying, "I'm here to apply for the position of the live-in maid."

The guard narrowed his eyes. "I've heard no such thing. You must have got the wrong address miss."

Sakura frowned. This better _**not**_ be a trick that Ume pulled on her. "But that's not possible, here I can even show you the ad that-"

"Please leave," the guard ordered, "Sasuke-sama does not like random strangers coming to visit him."

By now Sakura was _**mad**_. "Look here! I saw an ad and I'm here to apply for the position. At least give me a chance! If I'm too ugly and not sexy enough then fine! At least tell me so I won't feel this whole thing is just a prank! Oh… I see now. I bet there are hidden cameras all around. What kind of sick reality show are you guys filming? The bus ride was a long one and I had to pay for the fee myself. I didn't come all this way to be dismissed like a trespasser. Get that Sasuke-sama of yours out here, I want some answers bitches!" 

The guard stared at the crazy woman in front of him with opened jaws. He then shook his head, took out his walkie-talkie and started calling for the securities. This only made the pink haired woman more pissed as she started throwing colourful words at his face. 

---

Sasuke and Naruto was contemplating together when they heard the commotion outside. Because the Uchiha residence was usually quite (save Naruto of course) the words of the rude female rang into the room clear as day. _"Look here! I saw an ad and I'm here to apply for the position. At least give me a chance! If I'm too ugly and not sexy enough then fine! At least tell me so I won't feel this whole thing is just a prank! Oh…I see now. I bet there are hidden cameras all around. What kind of sick reality show are you guys filming? The bus ride was a long one and I had to pay for that myself. I didn't come all this way to be dismissed like a trespasser. Get that Sasuke-sama of yours out here, I want some answers bitches!" _

Sasuke and Naruto glanced at each other before each raising an eyebrow. Then Sasuke's eyebrows turned down into a frown where Naruto's eyebrows turned up into a nervous expression.

"Maybe you should go see her…" Naruto suggested, "It it kind of unfair for her, you know…"

Sasuke's icy cold eyes glared down at the blonde, _**"Naruto…"**_

"Okay okay! I'll go with you. Sheesh, Don't get your dick in a knot."

---

Sakura was fighting (and wining) against half a dozen security men when the two pair of boys came towards her. All the guards stopped their brawl with the banshee-like female and bowed towards their young master.

"Sasuke-sama, we're deeply sorry to have disturbed you! Please, allow us to remove this nuisance that is not worth your presence!"

Sasuke raised a slim eyebrow.

Naruto cackled behind him, "Doesn't seem like you guys are winning though."

A pink tint appeared on the man's face. 

Sakura in the mean time was too busy holding the collar of an unconscious man and spazzing at his face to notice that two new people were behind her.

"Hey there hottie."

Sakura stopped her ranting and turned around with a suspicious look on her face, "Hottie?"

Naruto took the opportunity to take a better look at her face, "Wow! You ARE hot! That's it, you're hired!"

A unison of "WHAT?" rang through the crowd.

Gripping onto Naruto's collar and throwing him back, Sasuke sneered, "Don't make decisions for me you dobe."

"Damn you Sasuke-teme!"

_'So this is Uchiha Sasuke… huh? I bet he's an jackass like the rest of the rich bastards.'_

Turning around, Sasuke faced the small female. Even though he hate to admit it, the girl was cute. Mentally shaking his head, Sasuke spoke to her for the first time, and not very nicely so. "Look, you can make all the fuss you want but I can't help you. I'm sorry, but that ad was a bad joke made by this idiot over here. _("Who are you calling an idiot?")_ I have no need for anymore maids so I must ask you to leave. I will even pay your bus fee for you if you wish, but if you still refuse to leave then I will be forced to call the police." 

_'I bet right.'_

Turning around to the men, Sasuke ordered them to all get back to their posts. He then took out a ten thousand yen bill (approx. 100 U.S. dollars) from his wallet and handed it to Sakura. "I think this will be worth your effort."

Gritting her teeth, Sakura snapped the bill away. "Fuck you Uchiha." Turning around, she patted her wrinkled shirt and walked away, determined to leave with her dignity intact even though she knew that she would later regret not taking the money.

Sasuke watched her disappear around the corner before turning around and walking back to the mansion.

"That was a waste of hot ass you know?" Naruto commented.

"Shouldn't you be gone?" Sasuke replied back. Yes, he agreed that the girl was hot but there were a lot of pretty girls like her and they were all the same. Mindless creatures they were.

"You know… you could have used her as your pretend girlfriend…"

Fuck.

---

Sakura sat on the elegant sofa and glared at the two boys in front of her. One minute she was trying to find her way out of the Uchiha's large domain and the next minute she was being escorted back to the main mansion by a group of men wearing dark sunglasses. 

Now she was trapped in the grand Uchiha living room, or lounge, or whatever your call this freaking huge room and listening to their outrageous requests. There were large French windows as high as the room and threw them she could see a beautiful garden outside. Huge paintings hung on the wall and elegant status sat on the carpet. There was an empty fireplace against the wall with silver photo frames perched on the mantel, but Sakura wasn't close enough to see the photos themselves.

The pink haired girl glanced at the expensive dark coffee that was in the expansive cup that was on the expansive coffee table that sat on the expansive beige carpet that covered the expansive mansion.

_'Stupid rich bastards.'_

"So," said the blonde boy, "That's how it is. Will you help us?"

"Why should I?" Sakura demanded heatedly.

"Because we'll going to pay you?"

Oh, that.

Frowning, Sakura glared at the dark haired boy, "You're awfully quite. Shouldn't it be you who do the explaining seeing that I'm going to be _your_ girlfriend."

"Pretend girlfriend," sneered Sasuke. His one hand was resting on the sofa and the other one was holding onto a cup of coffee. "And it's only for a week. You go with me to the gathering and after another six days we "breakup" and go our separate ways. Get it?"

Sakura gritted her teeth, how could a person be this arrogant? 

"What's my pay?"

Sasuke mentally rolled his eyes. It was always about the money. "Exactly what it says on the ad," he glared at Naruto who startled to whistle to himself, "But if you do a convincing job I'll give you double as bonus."

Sakura's eyes lit up. _'Okay let's see… so the pay is 35 000 yen per day for seven days… that's 245 000 yen for the week, and with the bonus… holy shit! That's 490 000 yen for one week! That's more than what I make in two months!' _"DEAL!"

Sasuke smirked, poor people are so predicable. His smirked disappeared, "But let's make this clear. After a week, you get out of my life. That means no contacting me, no trying to get other people to contact me and no trying to tell other people about this deal."

Sakura mentally rolled her eyes. It was all about the image. "Like I want to see you again after this. This will give me another week to find another job and probably a small break. Trust me, I don't want anything more to do with you than what is needed. And you don't have to worry about me blackmailing you. Ah, don't give me that look. I keep my word."

"Good."

"Good."

"Hey," Naruto bugged in, "You guys are getting along pretty well!"

"Shut-up!" They both yelled in unison. 

Suddenly, a man in dark glasses came rushing in, "Sasuke-sama we have a situation!" 

"What now?" Sasuke asked annoyed.

Sweat was dripping from the man's bearded chin, "THE WHOLE MANSION IS BARRICADED BY WOMEN DEMANDING TO BE HIRED AS SASUKE-SAMA'S NEW MAIDS! SOME OF THEM ARE AS OLD AS 60!"

"Damn," Naruto said snapping his fingers, "The ad clearly said that they must be 18 to 25 years old… hmm… why do I sense a dangerous aura behind me… hmm…"

**"NARUTO!"**

---

So following a series of very weird events, Sakura was hired to be Sasuke's new maid and pretend girlfriend. And Naruto? He was thrown into the ocean of rapid fan girls and was left there to drown. 

The end… except, not really.

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A/N: Please Review! X3 

_-dcb_


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